So. Here we are. Back in the saddle. Kind of. My laptop shit the bed, and I'm stuck blogging via blackberry. While writing that kind of makes me feel like one of the rich assholes who gets to stay at the Sheraton while I live off their 10% tip, I have to admit, typing an entire paragraph on a QWERTY keyboard in somewhat painful. My thumbs are already tired, and I'm only getting started.
But enough of my bitching. I should apologize, friends, for being absent for so long.You deserve an update.
Summer isn't in full swing yet and my checking account is feeling it, but I work with good people and get to listen to (mostly) great music all day. I've been more open to eating seafood, but the fact that we get french fries and a post-shift pint for free is padding my midsection quickly. I've learned how to hustle vacationers like you wouldn't believe, and I've gotten a fistful of change from a disgruntled German as a tip. Gotta take the bad with the good, as they say. Or something along those lines.
6.17.2009
4.26.2009
"If You Can't Carry Four, You're Fucked."
Alright. This weather is far too nice to ignore, so again, I will be brief.
The past two days of work have been c-r-a-z-y! It's only April, but it's been like June in Boston, and everyone and their mother is looking for a cold beer and a dozen raw oysters. That's where I come in. I've seen quite a crowd hanging around Faneuil Hall, let me tell ya. People amaze me. I've served hungover white trash in "Rainforest Cafe" t-shirts, Puerto Rican tourists who spilled their Corona on the child sitting next to them (definitely not their kid, mind you), and a man who thought it would be completely okay to dip his fries in the container of Heinz, rather than putting some ketchup on his plate, like a normal person. I watched a man berate his wife for not knowing what side she wanted with her Cajun Shrimp Skewers, because "he was really hungry". Oh, and I got to ride the T home with a couple of drug addicts who were maybe/maybe not going to be broken up by the time they got to Forrest Hills. It's been a wild ride, this weekend. I am really looking forward to training being over so I can feel better compensated for putting up with people's bullshit. $250 cash on a Saturday afternoon is gonna look reeeeal good.
The past two days of work have been c-r-a-z-y! It's only April, but it's been like June in Boston, and everyone and their mother is looking for a cold beer and a dozen raw oysters. That's where I come in. I've seen quite a crowd hanging around Faneuil Hall, let me tell ya. People amaze me. I've served hungover white trash in "Rainforest Cafe" t-shirts, Puerto Rican tourists who spilled their Corona on the child sitting next to them (definitely not their kid, mind you), and a man who thought it would be completely okay to dip his fries in the container of Heinz, rather than putting some ketchup on his plate, like a normal person. I watched a man berate his wife for not knowing what side she wanted with her Cajun Shrimp Skewers, because "he was really hungry". Oh, and I got to ride the T home with a couple of drug addicts who were maybe/maybe not going to be broken up by the time they got to Forrest Hills. It's been a wild ride, this weekend. I am really looking forward to training being over so I can feel better compensated for putting up with people's bullshit. $250 cash on a Saturday afternoon is gonna look reeeeal good.
4.22.2009
One of us, one of us...
The Simpsons are on, the one where they all go to Orlando, because Bart nominates Mrs. Krabappal for Teacher of the Year, and Little Richard presents the prize. You all know how much I adore Little Richard. Anyway, this will be a quickie.
Training Day 2: While I did get to go to Boloco (on the clock!!) to pick up a breakfast burrito and a smoothie, AND I got a free crabcake sandwich (deeeeelicious and ALSO while on the clock)... the rest of the day was kind of a bust. No crazy foreigners (minus the woman in the "Belize" baseball hat, who declined a second glass of water, despite the fact that she was directly in the hot sun), no big spenders... BUT... I did get a "Thanks for the suggestion" from one woman, who seemed quite pleased with her Salmon BLT, and I got to see a guy with a freakishly weird birthmark/boil issue on his face. Is it wrong that the latter was an exciting part of my day? Call me crazy, but it was interesting as hell. AND he was married to a beautiful Asian woman AND they had a beautiful baby. AND his twin brother (sans weird birthmark/boil issue) was joining them... ALONG WITH their mother. So I guess I had a pretty decent day.
Tomorrow is my first day off. I hope to sleep late, make hotel & car reservations for the upcoming nuptials we are attending, and buy some black pants. I hoped it would never happen, but I am in desperate need of black pants. C'est La Vie.
Training Day 2: While I did get to go to Boloco (on the clock!!) to pick up a breakfast burrito and a smoothie, AND I got a free crabcake sandwich (deeeeelicious and ALSO while on the clock)... the rest of the day was kind of a bust. No crazy foreigners (minus the woman in the "Belize" baseball hat, who declined a second glass of water, despite the fact that she was directly in the hot sun), no big spenders... BUT... I did get a "Thanks for the suggestion" from one woman, who seemed quite pleased with her Salmon BLT, and I got to see a guy with a freakishly weird birthmark/boil issue on his face. Is it wrong that the latter was an exciting part of my day? Call me crazy, but it was interesting as hell. AND he was married to a beautiful Asian woman AND they had a beautiful baby. AND his twin brother (sans weird birthmark/boil issue) was joining them... ALONG WITH their mother. So I guess I had a pretty decent day.
Tomorrow is my first day off. I hope to sleep late, make hotel & car reservations for the upcoming nuptials we are attending, and buy some black pants. I hoped it would never happen, but I am in desperate need of black pants. C'est La Vie.
4.21.2009
Here I go again on my own...
I am taking a break from my obsessive note-taking. I am making lists to keep in my little checkbook in my apron... so far I've done my "Beer/Wine/Booze" list. I still have to do my "Sides", "Shellfish", "Salads & Sandwiches", & "Specials" lists, along with about 10 other things that start with "S", probably. Whew. This is a lot to take in. The menu is pretty lengthy, and it doesn't exactly help that there isn't a particular "lunch" menu... customers can order anything off of the regular menu in addition to stuff off the "luncheon specials" menu on the back. Frankly, I'm a little worried. How the hell am I going to learn all this?!
But onto the real matter at hand, tourists: The people I am serving obviously have more money than I do, which is why they can actually take a vacation to Boston and why they seem to be in such fantastic moods. For example, when a finely dressed gentleman said (in elaborate and broken English), "I'll have the Fra Diavlo and a half-pint of Lager. Thank you miss!", what he was actually saying was, "I am a wealthy man from a distant European country where we laugh at pathetic Americans such as yourself. I feel confident with my choice of entree, regardless of the fact that it costs $24.95 and it's only two in the afternoon! I have plenty of money to spend on whatever I please! Now fetch me my Lager!". Everyone I helped was so pleasant and friendly. They were also more than willing to blow $80+ on a meal for four. I think that taking this job could just be the best financial decision I've ever made. I just hope I can figure out what the difference between "littlenecks" and "cherrystones" is, and whether the "Seafood Bake" or "Lousisiana Catfish Platter" is my personal favorite luncheon special.
Tomorrow is Day 2 and I'll be working on the patio. Let's hope for sunshine and plenty of orders of Seafood Platters and pints of Lager!
But onto the real matter at hand, tourists: The people I am serving obviously have more money than I do, which is why they can actually take a vacation to Boston and why they seem to be in such fantastic moods. For example, when a finely dressed gentleman said (in elaborate and broken English), "I'll have the Fra Diavlo and a half-pint of Lager. Thank you miss!", what he was actually saying was, "I am a wealthy man from a distant European country where we laugh at pathetic Americans such as yourself. I feel confident with my choice of entree, regardless of the fact that it costs $24.95 and it's only two in the afternoon! I have plenty of money to spend on whatever I please! Now fetch me my Lager!". Everyone I helped was so pleasant and friendly. They were also more than willing to blow $80+ on a meal for four. I think that taking this job could just be the best financial decision I've ever made. I just hope I can figure out what the difference between "littlenecks" and "cherrystones" is, and whether the "Seafood Bake" or "Lousisiana Catfish Platter" is my personal favorite luncheon special.
Tomorrow is Day 2 and I'll be working on the patio. Let's hope for sunshine and plenty of orders of Seafood Platters and pints of Lager!
4.20.2009
Countdown: Less Than 24 Hours
By this time tomorrow, I'll have a better idea of what I'm in for. Right now I'm mostly just having anxiety about the shoes that I have to wear. And the new black pants. And the whole "showering before work" thing. What if I'm not a good tourist trapper? What if it turns out that being around that much seafood makes me ill? What if, what if, what if... I'll just have to wait and see.
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